I am in this mood where only three fairly specific things will satisfy me. Of course they are all unattainable simply because their occurrence is out of my control. This mood plagues me from time to time, and I realize it falls upon me most times because of a lack of flow in my life. Flow being that zone we find ourselves in when we are doing something we love so intensely to the point that nothing else in the universe matters.
There will be days when I do nothing remarkable for 23 hours — when I will sleep too much, eat too much, isolate too much — but for one glorious hour I’ll make art. I will be one with my desk, pulling scraps of paper together with paint into a creation that perfectly represents how I feel at that moment in my life. Those days always feel more accomplished, even compared to days when I am making major progress on tons of my life goals that really do matter to me.
Today I am flow-less.